Dawn
by lithiumbelle
Summary: What would have happened if Edward hadn't been able to save Bella from James' venom.
1. The End

Chapter 1 - Bella's POV

"Carlisle, I can't continue. She's losing too much blood. I can hear her dying." The pain in the angel's voice made my own blistering agony seem insignificant in comparison. The pain in my hand was spreading, making it difficult to concentrate on Carlisle's reply. I screamed in pain, unable to help myself. The angel sounded like he was choking. A hand stroked my face but the cool touch barely registered above the fire raging within me.

"Bella," the angel spoke my name, sounding broken and defeated. "I'm sorry, my love. I can't get the venom out without killing you. We have to let it run its course." his voice cracked. I dimly felt his lips brush my temple. "Forgive me, please," he begged.

I wanted so badly to tell my angel, my Edward that there was nothing for me to forgive. I knew that if I opened my mouth to speak that I would only howl out the agony within me and hurt him more**. **I stayed mute. Through the pain I felt myself being moved. Two pairs of stone arms supported me. The fire flared again and I struggled against the unbreakable bonds, desperate to escape the torment.

A hand stroked my brow and I heard Edward's voice, roughened with pain but still tender. "I know. I'm so sorry. Be brave for me Bella. It will all be over soon. I love you." I clung to his words as the invisible flame closed around me and all was red.

**A/N: I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I wanted to get my idea out. Suggestions/reviews are welcome and hopefully I'll have an update soon!**


	2. Burning With Her

Chapter 2 - Edward's POV

Three days was plenty of time for me to find new ways to loathe myself, especially considering that my kind didn't sleep. I wanted to tear James limb from limb for what he had done to my Bella. Unfortunately my brothers had already taken care of that while I was trying to save her.

Although James had bitten her, I was her executioner. I was the one that had condemned her to this soulless existence. I had damned the one I loved more than my own life simply because I couldn't bear to lose her. I knew that not even centuries would dull the self-hatred I felt now. Not that I planned on surviving long enough to test that theory. My selfishness had killed the girl I loved as surely as if I had left her there to bleed. I could only hope that she would hate me. It would be no less than I deserved for making her a monster.

Even now, I couldn't bear to leave her side as she transformed. I could hear her frantic heart and smell his venom in her veins. I hoped that she would attack me when she woke. I knew that I would be no match for her newborn strength, not that I would raise a hand to stop her. I could only hope that my family wouldn't put me back together so I could continue hurting her.

I was so focused on Bella, still except for occasional tremors and whimpers through closed lips, that I barely noticed Alice enter the room. I resented her intrusion on my self-castigation, and a growl hissed through my teeth.

"That was pathetic, even for you." she remarked, sitting cross-legged on the floor. I didn't reply, knowing she had a reason for disturbing me, but not particularly caring.

"It won't work, you know. Bella loves you. She needs you. She won't hurt you."

I laughed, a short, grim sound. "She won't be Bella, at least not to begin with. It's less than I deserve, but I have nothing else to give. I should have let her die."

My heart being dead should have stopped it from breaking as my mind conjured Bella, forever pale and still. I didn't need to breathe, but I suddenly found myself nearly hyperventilating.

Bella twitched, her muscles standing out in stark relief as her body went rigid. Alice ceased to exist as all my attention was devoted to her. The high, keening cry that slipped from between her clenched teeth made me want to tear my eardrums out. The sound of her in pain, especially knowing that I was the cause, hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt, even worse than my own burning. I would give anything to take away her pain. I knew all too well the agony she was experiencing and it was all my fault.

I held her hand, feeling helpless as I watched tears leak from behind her closed lids. I wiped them away gently, but each one was like a dagger to the heart. I was startled when Alice's thin arms wrapped around me tightly, not to restrain, but to comfort.

"She's going to be breathtaking. You did the right thing. It's going to be ok." Alice said.

"She already was!" I growled with more emotion than I'd shown since we'd returned. "She was beautiful and amazing and alive and I destroyed her because I couldn't bear to live without her. What kind of animal willingly condemns someone they claim to love to this?!" My voice rose with every word until I was shouting.

I was sure that if I was still capable of it, I would have been sobbing by now, but my freakish body denied me even that release. In one moment of pure greed I had ripped away Bella's family, her friends, her future, and her soul, all so I wouldn't be alone again. I didn't know how it was possible that she could forgive me when I couldn't forgive myself.

Suddenly Alice was in my face, one hand holding my jaw in an iron grip so I had no choice to look at her. I had no strength left to fight her.

"Stop it Edward. You're being ridiculous." she said sternly, her eyes flashing with fury. "Bella loves you. She knows how much you didn't want to turn her. You did everything you could to keep her human. Stop blaming yourself for what James did. This is not your fault!"

"How is this not my fault?" I countered. "I may not have bitten her, but I was the one who brought her into our world. I was the one who put a target on her back."

"I doubt Bella sees it that way." Alice said. "It won't be long until she wakes and you can get her opinion on your pity party. Can't you hear it?"

Bella's heart was racing toward its last beats. To someone without enhanced hearing, the beats would have been indistinguishable from one another. It was almost time to face the consequences of my decision. I could only hope that for Bella's sake it would be quick. I didn't want her wasting any more time on me than necessary.

"I'll go get the others." said Alice. She turned to go, but then paused in the doorway. "We will always put you back together. It's what family does."

I didn't acknowledge her statement. My focus never strayed from Bella as I counted her failing heartbeats.

Alice left the room and I heard the others stirring. I heard six sets of footsteps climbing the stairs as with a hollow thump, Bella's labored heart gave up the fight. I'd never felt more like a monster than I did the moment my reason for existence died.


	3. A New Beginning

** Chapter 3 - Bella's POV **

My sanity returned in increments. At first there was nothing but the fire. No feeling or thought could exist within the inferno. The first thing that I was aware of was the frenzied rhythm of my heart. It beat like it was trying to hammer it's way from my chest. Its deafening thudding kept me from hearing anything else for a while.

I had no way of telling time, so I had no clue how long I had burned. Hours? Days? Months? It definitely felt like the last one.

The next thing I was aware of was someone breathing off to my left. Their breathing seemed to become more strangled every time my body thrashed against my will.

After a time that seemed like an eternity, I noticed that my palms were blissfully cool. I could feel someone holding my left hand. Next, my forearms quit burning. With this small reprieve, I was able to form the first conscious thought I'd had since being bitten. _Good, it should be almost over._

The fire lost control of my body in stages, each bit of relief coming quicker than the last. However, the blaze got hotter, which I hadn't thought possible. By the time only my chest still burned, I was sure the rest of me had been incinerated. How could anything have survived that?

My heart beat even faster, reaching a tempo like hummingbird wings. With one final thump, the fire was gone and all was still. I opened my eyes cautiously, not entirely sure that the torment was really over. My trepidation vanished in a wave of shock.

I felt as if I was opening my eyes for the first time. I may as well have been. Everything was so vivid! I could see the grain of the wood on the ceiling. The dust mites dancing their strange, beautiful ballet distracted me. I was frozen with awe.

"Bella," that one word cut through my consciousness. Before the movement registered, I was crouched against the wall, a vicious, animal snarl rolling from my throat.

Edward leaned toward me, one hand extended. Concern shadowed his gorgeous features. Behind him, I could see the rest of the Cullens in the doorway, looking equally concerned.

"Bella?" Edward repeated, walking toward me at a human pace, giving me time to react. "You're alright. I know this is a little disorienting, but you're perfectly safe love." His hand touched mine and it took a second to figure out why it felt wrong. We were the same temperature.

Before I had made a decision to so, I practically jumped into his arms. He went rigid. It was like trying to cuddle a statue. He pushed me away though I couldn't understand why. Was I not beautiful? Did he not want me now that I was no longer a fragile, delicious-smelling human? My eyes stung and I knew I would have been crying if my new body allowed it.

"What's wrong?" I asked, noting that my voice sounded like music even through my agony. "I knew you wouldn't want me once I wasn't human anymore!" The pain of rejection nearly brought me to my knees and I curled over, hunching in on myself as my mind reeled, trying to make sense of a reality where Edward didn't love me. A soft touch on my cheek startled me.

I looked up at Edward, who looked like he'd been punched in the gut.

"How could you think that?" he exclaimed, his voice sounding like the cry of a wounded animal. "There's no one I want more than you, but after what I've done to you, I don't deserve you." I looked up at him, confused. "Bella, I killed you! I couldn't get James' venom out of your system." Edward cried, anguish marring his perfect features.

_Oh, so that's what all this is about? _The realization was filled with relief. Then I saw the haunted look in his eyes. He really expected me to hate him! I couldn't believe he was being so stupid! He mistook the irritation in my eyes for anger at him.

"Bella, I can't make up for what I let happen to you, but please take your anger out on me." His arms were hanging limply at his sides until he grabbed one of my hands and placed it on his neck right below his jawline. "Bite here and rip. It's the quickest way."

I stared at him, uncomprehending. Why would I bite him?

Esme's shocked cry of, "Edward, no!" made everything make terrible, sickening sense. He hadn't moved, still waiting for me to strike. I tackled him. He closed his eyes, looking composed and ready for his final death.

I heard a chorus of snarls and a heavy weight hit my side, but I ignored them all, pinning Edward down and raining kisses over his exposed skin.

"How could you think I want to kill you?" I nearly shrieked. It hurt to even speak the words. "I love you, you idiot! If you hadn't been there to save me, I'd be rotting in the ground by now." I felt him shudder at that.

He pulled back, searching my eyes for a hint of doubt. I wished he could read the truth in my thoughts. Instead, I kissed him with all the passion I could manage, pouring all my love for him into the kiss. He gripped my face, pulling back to smile my favorite crooked grin at me. His eyes were bright, all the shadows of self-doubt chased away. It was like staring into the sun. It was the most breathtaking thing I'd ever seen.

Then suddenly he was kissing me back in a way that took my breath away. For a moment, no one and nothing existed but the two of us. A loudly clearing throat brought me back to reality and I looked up sheepishly.

"Well, now that we've figured out you're not making a snack out of our brother in the worst possible way, I think both of you should hunt." Emmett attempted a joke, but I could see that I had shaken him badly. Even Carlisle looked worried. Only Alice seemed truly relaxed.

Now that hunting had been mentioned, the wildfire burn in my throat was all I could concentrate on. I gasped, my hand flying to my throat. Before I knew what was happening, Edward had scooped me up and jumped out of the nearest open window.


	4. Hunting

I knew Bella should probably be running on own, but I couldn't bear to put her down. Now that I knew that she still wanted me in her existence, I wouldn't do anything to separate us. Her happiness was more important than soothing my guilt. Her mood was infectious, I pushed my bleak thoughts aside, focusing on the joy I felt. The light of my existence could finally share every aspect of my life with me. Even if things didn't turn out the way I'd planned, it was difficult to look at that as a negative.

There were so many things that her emergency transformation complicated. Our treaty with the dogs was over once they knew. They would come for my family as soon as they had proof. I knew Carlisle was planning to talk to talk to the Alpha at the border. If anyone could talk sense into the mutt, it would be my adoptive father.

Then, there was the issue of Charlie. I had forged a note from Bella saying that we had taken an impromptu vacation for a month. Charlie wanted my head on a spike, but that was only slightly worse than his usual thoughts about me anyway. The lie would give us time to fabricate early acceptance documents for a college across the country. I had voted for something out of the country, but Alice had seen that it wouldn't convince Charlie. We had settled on Columbia University. It wasn't like Bella would actually be attending anyway. It would be years before she had the kind of self control necessary to be around humans.

I set Bella down once we reached a clearing. She looked at me questioningly, clearly apprehensive.

"Just go with your instincts." I told her, smiling reassuringly.

She sank into a crouch that was surprisingly graceful even for one of our kind. I knew when she found the herd of deer to our north. Her body stiffened and her brilliant eyes glowed with hunger. I was a little disappointed that I couldn't read her mind now that we were more alike. I would have loved to experience her first hunt through her eyes.

Suddenly, the wind shifted, carrying an impossibly delicious scent. _Human blood._ I could see the moment it reached her, smashing through her concentration like a sledgehammer. She went rigid and I could see her muscles trembling with the strain of keeping her body locked in place.

_She's fighting it! _I thought, incredulous. I'd never seen a newborn do that. Hell, I had trouble doing that! I heard her breathing stop. I moved to restrain her, knowing that I couldn't hold her for long, but I had to try. Her impossible restraint was bound to snap soon.

Before I could reach her, she sprinted in the opposite direction, away from the overpowering allure of the human's blood. I chased after her, my mind reeling. How had she done that?!

I finally caught up to her as the forest began to thin. She whirled and crashed into me. Her crimson irises stared through me and her face twisted in a vicious snarl. I barely felt the impact as my head hit the forest floor.

I suppose I should have been worried by having an enraged newborn on top of me, but instead I was captivated. She was magnificent! I burst out laughing in amazement. I saw her inhale a cautious breath, probably the first she had taken since catching the scent. Finding no taint of human in the air, she spoke.

"What's so funny? I could have killed someone! Maybe someone I knew!" I heard the panic threatening to overwhelm her.

"But you didn't." I reminded her. "I am laughing because you, my dear, continue to astound me. You shouldn't have been able to run away like that. You shouldn't have that kind of self-control as a newborn." She relaxed slightly, pulling away from me. I wanted nothing more than to keep her there forever, away from the prying eyes and enhanced hearing, but I settled for pulling her in for a brief kiss. We both really needed to hunt.

It didn't take long for Bella to find her next target. I tried not to let my anxiety show, but it went against my nature to let her play with mountain lions. The creature was stalking a deer from above, on a branch nearly 15 feet in the air. The predator was completely unaware that it was also prey.

When the cat lunged, so did Bella. She caught the feline in midair as I lunged for the spooked herbivore below. I finished my meal quickly and turned to watch her. I cringed at her shredded clothing, taking comfort in the fact that her skin was impervious to the creature's claws. Her first kill was messy but I couldn't help feeling a sense of pride and wonder as I watched her in action. She was stunning and I still couldn't believe that she was all mine for eternity just as surely as I was hers.

There was no doubt in my mind, and Alice had never seen any human commit to their future as strongly as Bella had. Alice had kept that information from me until after Bella had changed, unsure if her resolve would waver once eternity together was truly a possibility.

If anything, her determination had only strengthened once her mind could fully grasp the concept. Once we were done hunting, Bella's dress was utterly destroyed. Knowing I wouldn't be able to bear my brothers' thoughts on her new outfit, I covered the worst of the damage with my shirt and we headed home.


End file.
